Natalie: Review of Fang Girl by Helen Keeble

 

 

Things That Are Destroying Jane Greene’s Undead Social Life Before It Can Even Begin:

1) A twelve-year-old brother who’s convinced she’s a zombie.
2) Parents who are begging her to turn them into vampires.
3) The pet goldfish she accidentally turns instead.
4) Weird superpowers that let her rip the heads off of every other vampire she meets.(Sounds cool, but it doesn’t win you many friends.)
5) A psychotic vampire creator who’s using her to carry out a plan for world domination.

And finally:
6) A seriously ripped vampire hunter who either wants to stake her or make out with her. Not sure which.

Being an undead, eternally pasty fifteen-year-old isn’t quite the sexy, brooding, angst-fest Jane always imagined....

 

Ok so I have very strong opinons when it comes to vampire books. Whether they are positive or negitive opinions depends on the book, author and overall rate of suckiness (pun intended). This book can definitely be categorized under the one-of-the-few-not-horrid-vampire-books-out-there shelf.

 

Yes, the description makes it sound pretty ridiculous and I'm not gonna lie to you and say that this book was filled with heart-warming character relations and moving plotlines that will have you on the verge of tears.

She has a freaking vampire goldfish named Brains.

 

Nonetheless, it was a very satisfying read. I found myself laughing out loud over the ironic absurdity of it all at 3 am.

So essentially Xanthe (aka Jane) wakes up in a coffin six feet under and realizes that she is an undead vampire.

 

So what does she do after she digs herself out of the ground?

 

Join a rebellion of semi-evil vampires on a quest to rid the world of injustice? Nope.

 

Run off with her brooding vampire boyfriend and make out for 100 pages? Nope.

 

Go on a killing spree and murder tons of innocent people? Nope.

 

She does what any normal 15-year-old girl would do, she goes home to her parents. And not only do her parents easily accept her newfound state of being dead, they do everything from extensive library research to buying small guinea pigs for her to snack on (named Toast, Marmalade and Sugar Puff.)

 

I loved all of her friends!

Ebon is a vampire who spends most of his time trying to seduce her in a french accent and playing rock band.  Van Helsing is the vampire hunter (Ha ha yes I see the irony) and is constantly trying to kill Jane, much to her chagrin. And I especially loved Sarah, a 12-year-old evil genius whose hobbies include fanfiction and world domination.

 

Funny stuff happens, intense stuff happens, more funny, more intense... Well, you get the picture.

 

If you want more deatils just read the book.

  

Oh I almost forgot. Zach, the little brother? No words. He is so freaking awesome.

 

Overall, the plot did seem a bit slow at times but  that was overshadowed by the great characters and awesome one liners. I recommend this to anyone who wants a good laugh and doesn't mind reading a book about vampires (these ones don't sparkle, I promise.)

 

Oh, and they all have british accents. If you don't read the book for anything else, read it because of that.

 

My rating:

five out of five stars